My Feelings & Emotions
Facing health changes, challenges, or a new diagnosis can trigger a range of emotions. It is understandable that everyone’s experience is unique. Here are some common feelings and thoughts shared by the creators of Mywell Health who have the experience of living with a chronic health condition themselves or supporting a loved one with health challenges. Reflecting on the ones that resonate with you may help you better understand how you are feeling and why. Consider being open to learning coping skills to support your emotional health.
Negative Feelings and Emotions
- Shock and disbelief about a diagnosis or learning about your prognosis; it may take time to fully process the information.
- Denial of a diagnosis and not wanting to share your condition with others due to fear of being labelled, stigma, or shame.
- Overwhelm and uncertainty about making informed decisions and dealing with treatment options.
- Anger at the health care system about delays in diagnosis, misdiagnosis, or difficulties with your treatment plans.
- Self-rejection due to changes in your appearance or body image from side effects of your condition or treatments (such as hair loss, weight loss or gain, changes in speech, or others).
- Resistance and frustration when adapting to lifestyle changes such as diet, mobility, and daily activities.
- Isolation and loneliness from altered social engagement or even withdrawing from social activities.
- Judgement and stigma of being different, and that people are treating you differently.
- Guilt for burdening your family or care partners by relying on them or causing them stress.
- Fear of the unknown and anxiety about your future, potential complications, or how life may change.
- Sadness from lack of acceptance by others because of changes to your identity caused by illness or injury.
- Grief over the loss of your planned health and lifestyle.
Positive Feelings & Emotions
As time passes, other feelings and emotions people experience can be seen as more positive.
- Hopefulness for a new normal and finding a new balance and thriving despite the condition.
- Optimistic for recovery or treatments, lifestyle changes, or the possibility of a positive outcome.
- Relief and calm for finally having answers and a diagnosis that brings clarity after a period of uncertainty or not knowing what was wrong.
- Control and confidence in the choice of treatments, therapies, or managing symptoms.
- Empowerment to make decisions about treatment or lifestyle changes.
- Strength from the self-advocacy to communicate your needs, rights, and treatment options, which can be a source of strength.
- Acceptance and Adaptation comes with finding ways to adapt to a new normal, embracing changes, and focusing on what can be controlled.
- Gratitude and appreciation for your health, relationships, and life in general after facing a health challenge.
- Thankfulness for support from others and deep gratitude toward loved ones, caregivers, and medical professionals who offer support during the process.
Tip
Consider finding that one person you can talk to about your feelings. Ensure you feel safe, validated, and understood. Add your emotional and mental health concerns to your Health Profile.
“My journey has been frustrating at times for sure. I think the most difficult time was not having a diagnosis for all my pain and discomfort. Once I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis I felt relieved I had an answer then sad, mad, and frustrated. After a couple months of feeling low and depressed, I made an effort to learn as much as I could about RA. One important connection I made was with a physiotherapist at the Arthritis Clinic. She shared stories of how people had overcome the limitations of their disease and helped me set up an exercise program. There was something in the fact that I was not alone, other people suffer too, and I had choices on how to help myself.”
Strategies for My Emotional Health
Coping with emotions during health changes, a new diagnosis, or ongoing challenges can be difficult, but there are strategies to help. Consider some of these strategies from emotional and mental health research-based websites and how they might help you through difficult times.
Expressing you feelings.
- Reflect on your feelings.
- Write down your thoughts and emotions. Identify both positive and negative situations and the feelings that they evoke.
- Give yourself permission to grieve. Whether a loss of health, lifestyle, or plans, it is important to mourn those changes. Learn about ways to cope with your grief and loss.
- Consider keeping a reflection journal or calendar to list your feelings each day, both positive and negative. State what strategy you chose to use and if it created a positive feeling or emotion.
Seeking emotional support.
- Share your thoughts, feelings and emotions with friends, family, or care partners.
- Consider asking for support from a cultural spiritual advisor for strength, peace, and perspective when facing a health crisis.
- Look into support groups, in person or online, to connect with others who are going through similar experiences, reduce feelings of being alone, and provide validation of your feelings. Be aware that support groups are not for everyone. Read about personal boundaries and strategies on how to engage in support groups in the resource kit.
- Define and protect your personal boundaries and privacy and confidentiality. Know what you want to share, when, and with whom.
Practicing mindfulness and relaxation.
- Learn about how mindfulness and meditation practices can help you stay in the present moment and reduce fear and anxiety.
- Explore the use of breathing techniques to help calm your nervous system and reduce feelings of stress or panic.
- Consider trying yoga, chair yoga, Pilates or Tai Chi to learn relaxation and breathing techniques. Many classes are available online at no charge.
Trying to be active and engaged.
- As able, try to participate in a physical activity every day, while listening to your body and its limitations.
- Write about your feelings as an outlet for your emotions and to organize your thoughts and reflect on your experiences.
- Consider trying art, music, painting, or crafts to help release emotions in a non-verbal way.
- Plan your day to include activities that bring you joy and calm. Make your peace and happiness a priority.
- Consider volunteering and helping others. Others have expressed that sometimes the best way to help ourselves is to help others.
Focusing on healthy friendships.
- Focus on friends who are willing to listen without judgment and can provide a safe space for you to express these feelings.
- Keep some normalcy in your life by scheduling activities with friends who knew you before your diagnosis or do not know about your condition.
- Ask friends you trust and who you feel safe with to be a care partner and to help meet some of your health needs.
Practicing self-compassion.
- Be kind to yourself by acknowledging that you are doing your best under difficult circumstances.
- Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a loved one facing the same challenges.
- Try to focus on what you can control by setting small, manageable goals, and then celebrate your accomplishments.
- Give yourself permission to feel emotions, be angry, and grieve as you need.
- Make a list of your strengths, examples of resilience, and the things you have already overcome.
- Practice asking for help, when needed, from your friends, care partners and health advocate.
Finding positive energy & gratitude.
- Seek out humour by watching a funny show/movie, listening to a comedian, or spending time with someone who makes you laugh.
- Try to find the joy in small moments of daily life, for yourself and with the people you love.
- Practice reframing experiences by finding the positive things in the moment.
- Explore practicing gratitude at a specific time each day. Stop, take a moment, and reflect on three things you are grateful for. Consider writing them down to re-read on more difficult days.
- Actively think about and plan things to look forward to.
Exploring complementary therapies.
- Explore different therapies that can relieve symptoms and pain even if just for a short period of time.
- Consider complementary therapies such as acupuncture, massage, or aromatherapy to help relieve stress and physical discomfort.
- Engage in mindfulness meditation to help focus your attention on the present moment reducing stress and providing a state of calm.
Tip
Note that these are only a few strategies from research-based websites. Mywell Health does not provide advice – please seek out health professionals. Refer to our Terms of Use if needed.
Journaling the Effectiveness of Your Coping Strategies
- List the methods or strategies you are currently using to improve or manage your emotional health.
- Reflect on the effectiveness of these coping strategies. Are there any that work better than others?
- List your care partners and support network, such as family, friends, or therapists, you can turn to for help? How comfortable are you with reaching out to others?
- List any activities that promote relaxation, such as physical activities, meditation, hobbies, or maintaining good sleep hygiene?
- What self-care strategies are you adding to your lifestyle and daily activities to improve your well-being?
- Have you sought professional help, such as counseling, coaching, or medication? Have you added this information to your health profile?
“When I was diagnosed with cancer at 52 years of age, I was devastated. I was newly married to my soul mate, my adult children were thriving, and my daughter was expecting. My diagnosis of a brain tumor called a glioblastoma gave me possibly 2 years to live. I could either curl up in a ball (and I wanted to) or live my life. I chose travelling, being outside and walking every day, learning new recipes, going to parties, and visiting with friends and family. Believe me, I had the bad days and ugly feelings and emotions, but my inside mantra was – “live every day to the fullest”.
Supports & Resources for My Mental Health
In BC, there are several ways to get help for emotional health and mental illness. Here is a partial list of ways to get help for yourself or someone you are supporting. Visit the terms emotional health, mental illness, psychiatrist, clinical counsellor, anxiety, depression, grief, and support groups in the resource kit for links to information, services, educational tools, and videos.
Seeking Support for Your Emotional and Mental Health
- Learn about the warning signs of depression, anxiety, suicide, substance addictions, disordered eating, and types of mental illness.
- Check out the list of virtual mental services including how to get immediate help, free or low-cost counselling, workplace supports, and targeted services for youth, students, seniors, and Indigenous people from the Government of BC.
- Call BC211, a free, confidential helpline that can connect you to a wide range of mental health resources and services available in your area.
- Contact your physician or nurse practitioner for an assessment, referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist, or an admission to hospital.
- Learn about the role of a psychiatrist who specialize in mental health and can prescribe medications if needed.
- Visit a walk-in counselling clinic for immediate help without a referral or appointment. Check out HelpStartsHere from the Government of BC for a comprehensive list of clinics and resources.
- Check to see if you have Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) at your workplace which offer confidential counselling services.
- For students, ask if your university or college offers free, confidential one-on-one sessions for students in crisis.
- Review your health benefits to see if you can apply for disability benefits, and/or apply to cover the cost of counselling and support services.
- Consider complementary therapies such as acupuncture, massage, or aromatherapy to help relieve stress and physical discomfort.
- Share with your physician or nurse practitioner about counselling and new therapies you are exploring.
Tip
Consider not letting your concerns about stigma or fear of judgement from others prevent you from reaching out for the help you need.
